Frustration & Calming Down

This morning, when I weighed myself, I was two-fifths of a pound heavier than when I started this blog on November 24th.

I was so upset.

This weekend, there was a birthday party. But I the non-cleanse foods I ate were consumed in moderation.

This is part of a larger picture though. Since November 24th, the lowest I’d gotten from my starting weight was 4 pounds.

Thinking about this, I was more upset. Why was I so bad at losing weight?

But I knew I needed to calm myself down. There is so much more to life than a number on a scale. My friends, my family, my work… all the wonders of existence… YEAH. Health is important – it allows me to enjoy those other things – but the number on a scale itself is not.  Remembering this, I felt better.

And, really I have become healthier since starting this blog.

-I’ve stopped eating dessert except when in new countries or for VERY special occasions
-I have hopes I’ve found a doable diet that makes me feel younger and less joint-crackly. I no longer get the same kind of energy highs and lows.
-Through a combination of things (the two above, included) the urge to and actual doing of overeating/binge have lessened incredibly. And that, that, folks, is huge.

I’ve also started a consistent meditation practice that I feel is really changing how I think and react to things. I believe that I am becoming more productive and mindful. Although, I guess we’ll see how this one continues. No conclusions yet.

And, while appreciating these things, I realized why despite my eating getting so much better I haven’t lost weight – what with weeks of travel (~8) and weeks of illness (~3), I haven’t been exercising like I usually do. Like, I suddenly went from a 5-6 days a week kind of girl to a 0-4 sessions per week girl, and I haven’t really gained any weight (also, from another perspective – just NOT gaining any significant weight is an accomplishment). There’s hope in this.

So, I’m going to keep writing, keep trying. My eating is as healthy as its ever been – I believe it’s possible that all I have to do is add the exercise in order to finally get some weight loss going.

Sincerely yours, hoping, and just having done 35 minutes of yoga and having found ways to get in 30 minutes of walking today,

TGC

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